THE REVOLUTIONARY [DOSE 1]

It is my very delight that another dosage of TGIF Special begins today. This is the third series since the ball was set rolling. Having you readers around has been a major encouragement and motivation. As much as I can, I have been trying to vary the structure, message and presentation of each series for your unmitigated pleasure. I also hope the messages (themes) of each story never slip you by.

This new dosage promises to be more gripping than ever. I would not be shocked if it also sparks some controversies. However, it should be noted that it’s strictly fictional. Any resemblance to a real person, people, organization or place should therefore be regarded as a coincidence.

Enjoy!

A Political Satire

Sometimes you wonder why you are cursed by these two friends. Perhaps they are a punishment from God, a punishment for the sins of your fathers that are now being visited on you. No, there isn’t. There is no better way to explain why you should have two big fools as friends. Worse still, they are not even casual friends. For crying out loud, they are your closest friends! Too often, you have now begun to doubt your sanity. “Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are,” goes the ancient saying. Even more troubling is the biblical injunction that says, “Evil communication corrupts good manners.” Aren’t these two maxims enough to make you wonder whether you have not unconsciously drunk from the cups of folly that hang around your friends’ necks like pendants? Yet you know there is hardly a thing you can do to help the matter. Iso inu eku ti di amumora.

Here they come again, your two friends and certified fools. They are here because you summoned them. Somehow, you are beginning to fear you might all drift away from the essence of the meeting and dabble into politics. Politics is intriguing. Yes, you know. It is also hypnotizing and sense-robbing. For what other reason would a matured man take the shirt he paid through his nose to acquire to an artist only to have the head of a not-so-handsome man drawn boldly on it? That your two friends have chosen to toe this line of folly is not your concern. If at all, it only consolidates your assumption that they have lost their heads. Today, Ahmad is wearing a white shirt on which the head of the ABC presidential aspirant is drawn, under which an emboldened caption in blue reads This is the change we seek. Christopher also is donning a green vest on which the head of the incumbent President and PTP presidential candidate is emblazoned, with an italized mantra underneath that says Let the good work continue. You look at both of them and shake your head out of pity. This is how terrible Lingeria, your fatherland, has become.

You have made up your mind that politics will no way feature in your meeting tonight. You have far more pressing things to discuss with Ahmad and Christopher than who should and who should not be the President of your nation for the next four years. The election is just around the corner. More precisely, it is to be held in about two weeks time. And of course, the drawing near of the D-Day is much heralded by effusive enunciation of passionate but prejudiced standpoints of apologists of the contending parties. What is more, states in the country Lingeria have been all of a sudden deluged with unsolicited visits from the aspirants in the name of campaign. It is as though it is only now that such states gained enough prominence in the eyes of the aspirants as to be favoured with generous visits. You are appalled by the festering hypocrisy, but what can a hapless worm do in a pool of salt?

For the past few years now, besides your job as an auditor in a private institution, you have saddled yourself with a responsibility of inculcating in young minds the spirit of leadership and its attendant values. Even though you know the aged strongholds of the nation, who have on countless scenarios declared the youths as the leaders of tomorrow, are unwilling to let go the reins of power, a time will ultimately come when the inevitable will strike and coerce them to relinquish that which they have dearly kept to themselves. When that happens, the least you would want is to have unprepared the ones who must bear the mantle, like the five foolish virgins. Therefore, in a weekly forum, you assemble the youths in your vicinity and teach them about nation building, leadership, responsibility, accountability, patriotism and many others. A mistake should never be repeated.

This is where Ahmad and Christopher come in. Though you have no iota of doubt that they are easily the most learned morons in the whole world, you still believe that they are useful to humanity in two ways. One, their foolishness is an unmatched fountain of hilarity. Life would have been staggeringly vapid should the world be denied the humour that perpetually accompanies their inimitable fatuity. They simply enliven your day without appearing to do so. Two, surprisingly, the little brain they have left is just enough to unstintingly support your initiative to change the mentality of the youths, enlighten and impress on them the core values expected of a leader-to-be. As a matter of fact, it is for these reasons that you are afraid you might never want to estrange yourself from them.

“Revo, Revo. Na you be baba o. How dey go dey go na?” Christopher hails and asks after your welfare, as the three of you get prepared for the business at hand. Revo, an abridged form of the word “revolutionary”, is the unanimous name people have elected to call you, having seen your overt revolts against how badly Lingeria is being led. Hardly does anyone know your true name again.

“Christy, dey go dey go fine o,” you reply curtly. Christopher is a garrulous one. If you are not prepared for a session of pointless talk, it is better you reply him as succinctly as possible. To do otherwise is to provide his mouth engine with a high-octane fuel. Ahmad, on the other hand, is a reserved man. His silence sometimes hides his folly well. He has an enviably retentive memory too. You have identified the strengths and weaknesses of these friends of yours, and so have apportioned them befitting duties in your NGO.

Yes, you have an NGO. It is called Building Future Leaders Initiative (BFLI), under whose auspices you are approved to assemble and educate youths on a weekly basis. You appointed Christopher as the P.R.O. At least he can have his talkativeness channeled for a good cause. Ahmad is the secretary, and your humble self the president. This evening, you the three principal officials have gathered to deliberate on some issues that border on the progress of BFLI, but two of you have chosen to seize the opportunity to proclaim support for their favoured candidates by putting on publicity vests. Anyway, you will let this slide. Like stated earlier, something more pressing must be addressed.

“I welcome you all to another meeting of the principal officials of BFLI. It is my joy to see that we are all well and sound. Before we go into the business of the day, would the secretary be kind enough to read to us the minute of our last meeting?” you request, after the opening prayer and national anthem have been said.

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To be continued.
Catch you next Friday!